What happens when we prioritize daily communication that is intentionally Solution Focused?

The imagery of Relationspaces inspires a tone of effective, compassionate interaction across schools, workplaces, and families. Just as we prepare a physical room by turning on the lights, adjusting the temperature, or rearranging furniture to suit the occasion, a Relationspace is a metaphorical environment for communication and relationships that is built for safety, inclusion, productivity and hope.

Some might say, ‘That seems like a lot of effort!’ While this may be partly true, the alternative is a high-risk gamble where communication can break down, where there can be exclusion, disrespect, unnecessary conflict, isolation and taking valuable relationships for granted. Positive and productive relationships generally promote better outcomes, but they do require some effort.

A Solution Focused Foundation

Relationspaces use a language of change to shift mindsets toward possibilities even in challenging circumstances. We move beyond shining a light on problems to actively noticing personal resources and progress in ourselves and others as we address every challenge with an intentionally hopeful stance.

Three Underlying Elements of Relationspaces

1. Viewing the Relationship as a Metaphorical Space

  • Whether at home, the workplace or the community, every interaction is a distinct opportunity where productive communication is prioritized to promote positive relationships.
  • We manage these spaces by applying the practices, principles and mindset of solution focus, to engage individual and collaborative success. These are embedded in the 6 principles of Relationspaces (below).
  • These intentional spaces support respect & well-being, where everyone matters and belongs.

2. Prioritizing Presence

  • We intentionally bring our best qualities to interactions while honoring the inherent wisdom in others.
  • Everyone benefits from even the most trivial of conversations that model kindness and respect.
  • By actively seeing, hearing, and appreciating others’ unique insights and abilities, we fill the communicative space with compassion and flexibility.

3. Prioritizing Communication

  • We move from reacting to focusing on how we relate with one another.
  • We move from a problem focused starting point in conversation to a solution focused starting point that manages the narrative.
  • We engage in hopeful conversations using solution focused language of change.
  • We adopt curiosity and an interest in learning from the other person.

6 Principles of Relationspaces

Reflection: Promoting inquiry-based conversations that are open, honest and judgement-free. These interactions intentionally detach from power imbalances and fixed outcomes.

Strengths: Noticing and talking about exceptions to challenges (what is already working). Focusing on resilience and the ability to cope, develops self-efficacy.

Success: Celebrating success not just as mastery, but as small, cumulative signs of progress occurring every day. This invites possibility and builds agency.

Action: Encouraging others to share interests, wants and best hopes, even when they’re experiencing setbacks. Positive change is motivated by what people want and what is already happening that points to their best hopes.

Noticing: Reframing the narrative to notice possibilities over problems. We look for and verbally acknowledge positive intentions and the best qualities in those with whom we communicate.

Hope: Using Solution Focused language of change shapes conversations differently. When we speak of change as constant and inevitable, we invite hope, which leads to meaningful differences.

 

Reflective Exercises:

Exercise 1: Remembering Positive Relationspaces

  • Think of someone who has had a profoundly positive impact on you.
  • What words best describe the impression they made?
  • How has their impact contributed to your well-being, and what stands out most about this memory?

Exercise 2: Relationship Reflection (Focus on a child, partner, colleague, relative, student or friend)

  • What stands out as current strengths/successes in this relationship?
  • What are your best hopes for this connection?
  • How will you know when the change you want has occurred?
  • Is any of what you want already happening, even if just in small ways?

Put our Expertise to Work for You

At Relationspaces, we offer coaching, consulting and instructional leadership for schools, organizations, and families.

Contact us at www.relationspaces.com to begin your journey.

Wishing you a season of hope and new possibilities this Spring!

Vicky Essebag